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Grey

by Capulet

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1.
we were a couple of weirdos dancing under the February moon I made emotion a zero until i lost you too soon I still remember your grey eyes flashing around my head I couldn't be there to save us the night was still my only friend I wasn't there to see if we could make it I wasn't there to hold you through the night I wasn't there to tell you that I loved you your hair as red as the fire that burns along the evening sky I swear I'll never forget you you are the love of my life they say it is what it is sometimes but sometimes thats just not enough I had to lose out on love to realize that I never had your heart I wasn't there to see if we could make it I wasn't there to hold you through the night I wasn't there to tell you that I loved you we were a couple of weirdos we fell in love at separate times please know I'll never forget you you were always my favourite high
2.
Last year's wishes Are this year's apologies Every last time I come home I take my last chance To burn a bridge or two I only keep myself this sick in the head Cause I know how the words get you {off} We're the new face of failure Prettier and younger but not any better off Bullet proof loneliness At best, at best Me and you Setting in a honeymoon If I woke up next to you Collect the bad habits That you couldn't bare to keep Out of the woods but I love A tree I used to lay beneath Kissed teeth stained red From a sour bottle baby girl With eyes the size of baby worlds We're the new face of failure Prettier and younger but not any better off Bullet proof loneliness At best, at best Me and you Setting in a honeymoon If I woke up next to you The best way To make it through With hearts and wrists intact Is to realize Two out of three ain't bad Ain't bad Me and you Setting in a honeymoon If I woke up next to you
3.
There Is 03:14
this vacation's useless these white pills aren't kind i've given a lot of thought on this 13-hour drive i missed the grinding concrete where we sat past 8 or 9 and slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights i've given a lot of thought to the nights we use to have the days have come and gone our lives went by so fast i faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor where i laid and told you but you swear you loved me more do you care if i don't know what to say? will you sleep tonight, will you think of me will i shake this off pretend it's all okay that there's someone out there who feels just like me there is those notes you wrote me i've kept them all i've given a lot of thought of how to write you back this fall with every single letter in every single word there will be a hidden message about a boy that loves a girl do you care if i don't know what to say? will you sleep tonight, will you think of me will i shake this off pretend it's all okay that there's someone out there who feels just like me there is do you care if i don't know what to say? will you sleep tonight, will you think of me will i shake this off pretend it's all okay that there's someone out there who feels just like me do you care if i don't know what to say? will you sleep tonight, will you think of me will i shake this off pretend it's all okay that there's someone out there who feels just like me there is
4.
Cups of the Rosé Bitches in my old phone I should call one and go home I’ve been in this club too long The woman that I would try Is happy with a new guy But I’ve been drinking so much That I’ma call her anyway and say “Fuck that new guy that you love so bad I know you still think about the times we had” I say, “fuck that new guy that you think you found And since you picked up I know he’s not around” I’m just sayin’ you could do better Tell me have you heard that lately? I’m just sayin’ you could do better And I’ll start hating only if you make me Uh, cups of the XO All my people been here I see all of her friends here Guess she don’t have the time to kick it no more Flights in the morning What you doing that's so important? I’ve been drinking so much That I’ma call you anyway and say “Fuck that new guy that you love so bad I know you still think about the times we had” I say, “fuck that new guy that you think you found And since you picked up I know he’s not around” I’m just sayin’, you could do better Tell me have you heard that lately I’m just sayin’ you could do better And I’ll start hating only if you make me
5.
Day Old Hate 05:57
So let's face it this was never what you wanted But I know it's fun to pretend Now blank stares and empty threats Are all I have, they're all I have. So drown me and if you can Or we could just have conversation. And I fall, I fall, I falter But I'll find you before I drift away Now you still speak of day old hate Though your whole world has gone up into flames And isn't it great to find that you're really worth nothing And how safe it is to feel safe. So drown me and if you can Or we could just have conversation. And I fall, I fall, I falter But I'll find you before I drift away The things we do just to stay alive The things we do just to stay alive The things we do just to stay alive The things we do just to keep ourselves alive.
6.
Somebody ought to draw the line Having you next to me. We were both afraid to say what we think, It's part of the poetry. If I let you go and I walk away it's done, But isn't it enough to say I won't. Isn't it enough to say I can't? And I just keep away for you. Keep away for me. You were a song to sing. A way to say I need you more. You need to stay. You'll see me again. Is it right or wrong? You'll see me again. We go on and on. It's worth the wait, And all this time I've had to change. You'll see me again. I know it won't be long. When it's hard to break it's hard to take, And the reasons why I never made it through, And I never gave you all the things that I wanted to. If I let you go and I walk away for reasons I will never know. I break. You pray. You'll see me again. Is it right or wrong? You'll see me again. We go on and on. It's worth the wait, And all this time I've had to change, You'll see me again. I know it won’t be long. But you won't love a ghost. I don't and I feel you in my throat. Another taste of love. You'll never know. Never wait for it ‘and now the hand you hold Is now the hand that holds you down. You'll see me again. Is it right or wrong? You'll see me again. We go on and on. It's worth the wait, And all this time I've had to change. You'll see me again.
7.
Staring closer at these lights I've been mixing magic potions just to get you off my mind would have been lost without those memories but everything felt right I used to feel home, inside your eyes taking promises we never made and making time for things we never should have saved we didn't ask for this but now I am afraid you didn't feel home at all falling faster to the floor I can stand to see the sight of you with someone else at all these minutes turn to months I feel but feeling's something I can't do at all taking shots at things we never meant every thought of you is one I can't forget I never meant to be so full of spite but yet I used to feel home, please don't forget

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released November 20, 2015

Chris Mckirdy

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Capulet Welland, Ontario

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